I find myself thinking a lot about Dietrich Bonhoeffer. His prayer “I Cannot Do This Alone” is one that I have turned to often over the last months. Alienation, loneliness, frustration, even terror….I’ve felt all of those emotions. I have no idea what tomorrow holds for the only country I know, the country that stole my ancestors, the country that has always ripped children from their parents’ arms, the country that disregards all women, and Black people, refugees, fleeing people of color, LGBTQIA persons, children – all children. I have no idea what tomorrow will bring for this country that has sold itself – a land — that it does not even own – to the highest bidder.
I’m remembering who I am. I am remembering the ancestors who refused to die and those who did. I am remembering the hope evident in the noncolonial character of leadership demonstrated by a new generation of people who care. I am abiding with my family, my faith, my community. I am dreaming of a world where children can play. I am making space for people who need traveling friends, using my voice where ever I can for justice, mercy and love; I am walking forward in the discipline of hospitality.
And, most of all
I’m praying with Bonhoeffer:
“O God, early in the morning I cry to You. Help me to pray and to concentrate my thoughts on You. I cannot do this alone. In me there is darkness but with You there is light. I am lonely, but You do not leave me. I am feeble in my heart but with You there is help. I am restless, but with You there is peace. In me there is bitterness, but with You there is patience. I do not understand Your ways, but you know the way for me. Restore me to liberty and enable me to live that I may answer before You and before me. Lord, whatever this day may bring, Your name be praised.”