child abuse community justice Nixzmary Brown

Justice for Nixzmary Brown

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire, you shall not be burned,
and the flame shall not consume you.
Isaiah 43: 2

Who is “I”?

Passing through stormy waters, moving through rivers that threaten to overwhelm…walking through fire unscathed and facing down flames unconsumed: “I” promises that because of the presence of “I,” one will not be consumed.

Here is one thing I know from working and loving young people: there are times when they feel so alone. There is nothing you can do or say to mitigate the loneliness. You can’t understand how they feel because while you may have been 15 years old once, you are not 15 years old right now in their context.

Today, the father of little Nixzmary Brown was acquitted of second degree murder. Instead he was convicted of the lesser charge of manslaughter for fatally beating her as punishment.

Nixzmary deserved better.

And by that, I don’t mean that justice wasn’t served because the man who killed her was not convicted of second degree murder. No — justice wasn’t served because the community she lived in let her down. I don’t think anything that could be done to her killer now would be “justice.” Focusing on her killer now means nothing to Nixzmary, who didn’t live past her 7th birthday. Wanting the harshest sentence possible for her killer may make some adults feel better — like we are getting justice for Nixzmary.

But that’s not justice.

It means nothing to other little Nixzmary’s. Her father’s sentence of punishment will not be the thought in another abuser’s mind as he raises his hand to hurt his child. Whatever is done to Nixzmary’s killer will not deter another abusive and ill-equipped parent from killing their own child.

But a community determined to be mindful, watchful, open-eared and open-eyed, ready, and questioning may deter the next killing. A community determined to look children in the eyes, a community populated by people who know how to convey to children that “I am a trusted adult, and you can tell me if someone is hurting you” is the most dangerous community in the world — for abusers. That’s justice for Nixzmary.

No abuser wants to live in a community filled with people who have decided that they will embody “I” and walk with children against fire and storm.

No child abuser wants to face a community that decides it will not leave children to face by themselves the overwhelming flood of the fear of the very adults who, by virtue of blood, are supposed to protect them.

No abuser wants to face a community that decides for itself that the worst thing a child among them should ever have to experience is the inevitable, normal, occasional, adolescent loneliness that comes with the natural course of growing up healthy.

No killer or abuser wants to live among people who say to themselves, “we will never see the righteous forsaken, nor the seed of God begging bread..” as long as we have breath in our bodies…

God is present in the presence of God’s people. Being present for the children in your community is justice.


child abuse children God

My God, My God, Why…..?

A friend sent a newspaper clipping to me last week and it utterly bowled me over. An 11 year old girl in the midwest has given birth to a baby. Apparently, she has been raped by her mother’s “boyfriend.” Family and friends knew of the abuse…and when the police did the DNA testing and determined who the father of the baby was, they did not have far to look: he was still in the mother’s house.

Incredible abandonment.

Incredible cruelty.


I have not yet been able to move from “My God, my God, why….” to “now that this has happened, here is what we shall do.” I’m working on that — but I’m not there yet.

My prayer is an old on…”Lord, I believe…help my unbelief.”

Anything I would write now would be driven by my doubts, my despair over what I read. My prayer is to be a help to people who will be called to walk with this little girl. Pray for those who must step into the gap for her — we all need to move through this moment but first — let’s just face the facts.

Incredible abandonment.

Incredible cruelty.

And it happens everyday to thousands of children in our own midst who often give up on the adults around them, give up on hoping that we will be adults and protect them from the edges.
We have given our children so many reasons to never trust us again. That they do is amazing and a gift from God.

Today — intentionally look into the faces of the children around you.

Look for the signs.

Look into their eyes.

Look at them.

And fix your face so that they will not be afraid to look at you, come to you, trust in you, tell you what’s going on.

My, God, my God….of course, God does know all about this. His own child hung on a cross screaming these exact same words.

The hope for this child, the hope for all of us is that we will come to know that these are not the last words. Despair does not have the last word. Because of what God’s child did on the cross, the last word has to be a word of word of triumph and hope.